The Haunted Hotel
by Serena's Ninja
Summary: Pizza Steve can't get any alone time with Honey, so he checks into a hotel. This is a great idea at first, but it quickly goes south when Uncle Grandpa and the gang also decide to stay at the hotel. And then, it takes a turn for the absolute worst when a ghost who happens to haunt the local Holiday Inn takes an interest in Honey.
1. The Exposition

The Haunted Hotel

A/N: So here's one of the many fics I plan on writing! Anyways, Everyone except GRFT is humanized (I kept GRFT a tiger, just because it makes more sense to me) and , yep. Enjoy! Also, credit for Human!Belly Bag's name (Billy Baggins) goes to Mother-Zombie. She gets partial credit for Billy's great great great grandpa's last name (which is also Baggins) I came up with the first name, Barnabas (nickname Barney). Okay, enough rambling, enjoy!

Pizza Steve brushed a lock of Honey's golden blonde hair out of her face, as he smooched her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her, as he kissed her a few more times. He was about to reach for her skirt when…

"Hey Pizza Steve! What are you and Honey doing?" said the very familiar voice of Uncle Grandpa

Pizza Steve and Honey both exclaimed and fell off the couch. Pizza Steve thought that he and Honey were alone.

"Uh…Nothing!" he pushed his hair out of his face. "Nope! Not a thing!" He tried not to blush, but the bright red rush of blood colored his face. He picked up Honey, and carried her to another room. "Now, where were we?" He kissed Honey a whole bunch more. Once again, as they were about to undress…

"Pizza Steve, what are you doing in my room?" asked Mr. Gus

"Nothing!" He picked up Honey and went to the bathroom. "Nobody will bother us in here!"

Pizza Steve was just about to kiss Honey when Giant Realistic Flying Tiger burst in, with a roar.

"DAMMIT! CAN'T ME AND HONEY JUST HAVE PRIVACY FOR ONCE?"

"Steve calm-"

"I WON'T CALM DOWN! EVERYTIME WE WERE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING, SOMEONE INTERRUPTED US!"

"Shh!" Honey shushed him by kissed him. "How about we go to a hotel or something?" She caressed his face.

"We can do that? Oh yeah…" said Pizza Steve "Okay, let's go."

~_The Haunted Hotel~_

Aranea Von Spinne, a ghost who haunted the local Holiday Inn was floating, with her back on the ceiling. She was bored.

She exhaled loudly, which was unusual, seeing that she didn't have lungs anymore.

Aranea contemplated leaving her once home, but she decided against it, as every place she liked no longer existed. The only reason she lurked in the Holiday Inn was because this is where she had lived, with her deceased lover, Barney.

Despite Barney also being dead, he hadn't become a ghost like her, as he had lived a full life, and died of old age, while Aranea had died prematurely of typhoid when she was 22. Aranea had been there when he had to move on, marry someone else, have children, and eventually die.

Aranea had no one. Everyone else she had liked also lived full lives, without her. She grimly remembered the day when another she had loved, Hope Smith, had visited where she had lived after she had died. Hope had married another man named Stanley, and they had come to visit, only for Aranea's funeral. By then, Hope had 2 children, and was expecting another.

This was sad, and awkward for Aranea, being that two of her lovers met for her funeral, and also, Hope was happy with Stanley.

Ever since then, Aranea had been broken-hearted.

Now, she just haunted this hotel. She had no reason to leave. She had no reason for anything.

Aranea heard the ding of the elevator, and looked. Out of the elevator stepped the exact image of Hope, wearing a dark turquoise tank-top, and black and white horizontal striped high-waisted bubble skirt and ballerina slippers, holding a roller suitcase. Aranea was love-struck.

"Hope…" She murmured. Aranea put her hands on her chest, and slowly floated down, landing on her feet. She was about to walk over too "Hope" when a man resembling Stanley walked out of the elevator. Aranea's hopeful smile vanished. "Of course. He always ruins _everything!_" Aranea growled, crossing her arms.

"Okay, it's room 417." said Pizza Steve, as he took Honey's hand and went to their room. He opened the door, flipped on the lights, and plopped on the bed.

Honey put the suitcase in the closet, and hopped onto the bed. She kissed Pizza Steve, and then there was a knock at the door.

Pizza Steve sighed, and walked over to the door, and opened it. It was Uncle Grandpa.

"Good Mornin'!"

"Uncle G, what are you doing here?"

"I heard you two were staying at a hotel! I thought that was a great idea! So I got everyone rooms!"

Pizza Steve frowned.

"Aw, why are you frowning! Here, I'll call room service and get us some food!" said Uncle Grandpa, pulling out a banana. He "dialed it". "Yes, room service, can we get some food up in here? Okay, thank you."

"Uncle G that's not gonna-"

Then a room service guy, who was just another Uncle Grandpa in a suit, came with a tray. He opened the tray, and there were miniature Uncle Grandpas on the tray.

"Oh yes! My favorite!" Uncle Grandpa ate the miniature Uncle Grandpas.

Pizza Steve backed away and closed the door.

"Steve?" asked Honey

"Uncle Grandpa is here"

"Oh…"

"Well this isn't really working out."

"What are we going to do?"

"I dunno!" Pizza Steve shrugged.

"Well, it's getting late, maybe we should just sleep it off."

"Okay."

They both undressed and went to bed.


	2. Araneae et Romanorum

**A/N: Somewhat based the parts with Aranea's past off of the Regular Show episode "Skips' Story".**

When Pizza Steve woke up in the morning, he kissed Honey on the forehead, and the got into the shower. He began washing his thick luxurious hair (as in his hair, not his pet rabbit, the hotel doesn't allow pets!) when the shower turned cold.

"What the hell! I haven't been in here a full minute!" He exclaimed "I'm Pizza Steve! I don't bathe in cold water!" He quickly rinsed his hair, and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. He went back to the room.

"That was quick." said Honey

"The water is _cold_!" said Pizza Steve

"Oh...Let me see." Honey went to the bathroom. She slipped out of her clothes and got in the shower. The water was warm. "It feels fine to me."

Pizza Steve went in there "What?"

"I said it feels fine."

Pizza Steve felt the water and it was warm again. "But…But how?"

"I don't know" Honey shrugged.

"This is really weird…"

Later, Pizza Steve and Honey went to breakfast. Everything Pizza Steve tried to eat either was burnt, or somehow fell on the floor.

Honey was completely fine.

Then, at the pool, Honey was sitting at the side of the pool, her feet in the pool.

"Honey, watch this!" said Pizza Steve. He tried to backflip into the pool, and he landed in the pool successfully, but his swim trunks got ripped off, and there was a huge splash, soaking Honey. He came out of the pool.

"Um…Steve…" Honey pointed

"Ahhhh!" He quickly covered his crotch, and ran back to the room.

Honey quickly followed him.

"Steve, are you okay?" she asked walking into the room.

She looked and got an eyeful of him still naked and posing all sexy-like on the bed.

"Everyone may have seen me naked, but I don't care at all."

Honey blushed.

"Now, let's get you out of that wet bathing suit?" he said, as kissed her, gently pulling off her bathing suit.

They got on the bed, both naked, and they were just about to do it, when there was a loud thud.

"Are you kidding me? What was that? You know what? I'm just gonna ignore it." said Pizza Steve.

They started having sex, when there was a loud, inhuman screech.

"The hell?" Pizza Steve turned around.

Floating right in front of them was a purple ghost woman, who looked pissed.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" she pulled Pizza Steve off of Honey.

"I think I'm making love to my girlfriend, that's what!" Pizza Steve said, as he hit the wall "Nobody throws Pizza Steve!"

"Now, now Hope, don't worry, I won't let this awful man touch you!" Aranea wrapped a sheet around Honey, and then floated off, holding her.

"Honey!" Pizza Steve got up. He quickly put on clothes, and ran out of the room.

~_The Haunted Hotel~_

Belly Bag, or rather, as he's known, Billy Baggins, sighed. He sat on the couch of the RV, depressed. He decided he didn't want to stay at the hotel with the others, because even though he'd be spending time with friends, he'd still be lonely.

He noticed how Pizza Steve and Honey were really in love, and he realized that he wanted love like that. But who would date him? Whenever he walked up to anyone, well, anyone who wasn't his friend, they would run aware scared of his bright glowing white eyes and zipper mouth.

Why was everyone so scared of that? It wasn't that big deal. Or was it?

And there he was, sitting on the couch, watching reruns of some old sitcom, eating sprinkles.

Suddenly, he just had an outburst. "WHY AM I SO SCARY LOOKING?" He yelled "WHY DO I SCARE OFF GIRLS, BOYS, AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN?"

He sat down and calmed down. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no" He said. He kept repeating "no" over and over again, until his mouth dried up.

"Calm down, Billy! You're just overreacting! You haven't met the right person yet! The right person won't care about soulless looking eyes and a zipper mouth…" He rocked back and forth "Nope!"

Then the phone rang, knocking him out of his madness.

"Nya! The phone! The phone! It's ringing, it's ringing!" He got up and answered the phone.

"Nyello?"

"Belly Bag! We need you! It's an emergency! Honey's missing! Pizza Steve is freaking out!" said Uncle Grandpa on the end of the line.

"Did he check the bathroom?" Billy replied, his voice thick with sarcasm.

"I don't kn-"

"This isn't the time for sarcasm!" said Pizza Steve, grabbing the phone on the other line "A ghost kidnapped Honey!"

"Okay, fine, I'm on my way."

~_The Haunted Hotel~_

Honey woke up, wearing a white wedding dress; she sat up, rubbing her head. "What just happened? Where am I?"

She looked around, it was a dark basement. The same purple ghost lady from earlier was there. She was wearing a black dress.

"Hello Hope. How do I look? I dressed up for you!" she caressed Honey's face with her cold hand.

"I…uhm…" Honey didn't get to finish, as the ghost woman pushed her lips onto Honey's. Honey pushed her away.

"Okay, first of all, who the hell is Hope? My name is Yvonne, and I also go by Honey."

"Oh. Sorry Honey. My name is Aranea. You look just like someone I used to love." Aranea wrapped her arms around Honeys shoulders, and kissed her face. "And I think I love you…"

Honey pushed her away. "You _think _you love me. But you're mistaken. You don't even know who I am."

"Is your last name Smith?"

"Yes it is, how did you know that?"

"You must be a descendant of Hope…Are you two related?"

"I don't know! I never knew my parents! I was raised by peacocks…Until I was 12, I thought I was a peacock!"

"Hm" Aranea groaned "And that man you're with? Who is he?"

"Pizza Steve"

"Well, I hate that Pizza Steve! I want him to suffer!"

"Yes, but _why _do you want him to suffer?"

"Because! He-He's a love thief! That's why!"

"And how? Tell me about it."

"Well, when I was 15…"

~_Flashback Harp~_

One hot summer day in 1880, Aranea was on the porch, straining her eyes to read. She really needed glasses, but her parents believed that glasses would take away from her appearance. Because of this, she had a hard time doing anything.

"Aranea!" Aranea's mother, Estelle Von Spinne said, as she came out to talk to her daughter.

"Yes, mother?" asked Aranea, closing the book and putting it down.

"There's a young man here to talk to you."

"About?"

"Marriage."

"Mother, we've gone over this many a time, I do not want to get married!"

"Aranea! Your sisters have both gotten married! You must eventually be married too."

"If I ever got married, I'd sooner marry the neighbor's daughter!" said Aranea, standing up, placing her hands on her hips.

"Aranea! Do not speak to me in such a way! Girls marrying girls? Preposterous!"

"I will speak as I please." Aranea said. She ran off.

"Aranea! You get back here right this instant!"

"No!"

Aranea ran to the neighbor's garden.

Hope Smith sat in the garden.

"Hope!" Aranea ran to her, she sat next to her, wrapping her arms around her.

"Aranea, how do you do?" Hope asked her.

"Hope, I'm scared…My parents want me to get married to a man I don't know!"

Hope hugged Aranea.

"Now, now don't worry none, my love." Hope kissed Aranea.

They kissed a bit, when Stanley, Hope's fiancé walked in on them.

"Hope!" he said, in a shocked tone

Hope and Aranea immediately stopped kissing.

"What are you doing to my fiancée?" Stanley grabbed Aranea by the shoulders. "Has the devil possessed you ?"

"No. I love Hope. And if there's anything sinful about expressing my love every moment, then I am glad to be sinning."

"Leave now!" Stanley dropped Aranea "And never return! Me and Hope are to be married in the morning!"

"I'll leave. But this will not be the last time you see me!"

~_Flashback Harp~_

"And then I ran away from home, only to be taken in by a man, named Barney, whom I later fell for."

"So you fell in love again?"

"Well yes…"

"Tell me about him."

"Well, he's short, pale, and has big eyes, and messy hair, but damn, he was the most attractive man I've ever met. He took me in when I had nowhere to go…"

_~Flashback Harp~_

Now that Aranea was homeless, she wandered around, staying in old barns, or anywhere where people wouldn't notice her. One day, when she was tired of walking she just sat down, leaning against a building. Soon she fell asleep.

She woke up to an old man dumping water on here.

"Go on! Leave! We don't want lowly women here! Get!"

"Now! Now! She's with me!" spoke up a young man wearing a suit. He had messy pink hair, bright big eyes, a zipper for a mouth, and pale skin. "C'mon, come with me" he held his hand out to Aranea.

Aranea took his hand and walked off with him.

"I'm Barnabas Baggins, but you can call me Barney."

"I'm Aranea Brigitta Von Spinne"

"Aranea…I like that name. I'll let you stay with me, 'cause it's real dangerous to be homeless when you're a young woman. Men…They can do cruel things."

"It's true" Aranea sighed

"Now…What's bothering you?"

"Well, I am in love with a woman, but now, she's married a man...And a mean man on top of that!" Aranea sighed

"I'm sorry to hear. Broken hearts are the worst."

"Yes…They ar-" Aranea walked into a wall.

Barney caught her. "Aranea, are you alright?"

"Oh it's fine, I just can't see much. I'm not blind, but everything looks fuzzy all the time."

Barney helped her stand up. He reached into his mouth, and pulled out a pair of glasses, the lenses were light red, and looked like sideways tear drops. He put them on Aranea.

"Can you see now?" he asked

Aranea just stared at him.

"Aranea?"

"Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek.

_~Flashback Harp~_

"And it was love at first clear sight. I was awfully confused, and I still am. I fell for a woman, and then I fell for a man?"

"Aranea, it's normal. You're just bisexual."

"Well, anyways, we lived together awhile, and we did things that I'm sure my mother wouldn't have approved of any more than me and Hope together, but we had fun with it. And then, I got typhoid, and I died. Soon after, I was a ghost, and I saw him depressed, and his father forced him to marry another woman and move on. I saw him live a full life without me." Aranea sighed.

Honey hugged her. Then she got an idea. "You said his last name was Baggins?"

"Yes."

"I think I might know his descendant, who falls under the exact description of Barney…"

"You…you do?"

"Yep"


	3. The Resolution

**A/N: Last chapter of this story. Sorry it's so short, if I tried to make it longer, it'd just be filler. Making another story soon.**

Billy Baggins entered the hotel. He went up to Uncle Grandpa's hotel room where Pizza Steve was freaking out.

"Took you long enough!" said Pizza Steve, annoyed.

"I can only move so fast!"

"You were in the _parking lot!_"

"I wasn't wearing clothes!"

"STOP ARGUING!" said Uncle Grandpa "I can't hear the TV"

"Right, right. Also HONEY IS MISSING!" Pizza Steve grabbed his own face.

"Well where did you last see her?"

"In our room, when AN EVIL GHOST KIDNAPPED HER"

"Did you see the ghost?"

"Of course I saw the ghost! She had long purple hair, a sadistic grin, and rose tinted glasses!"

"Hm…" Billy rubbed his chin.

_~The Haunted Hotel~_

Honey and Aranea went back to Honey and Pizza Steve's hotel room. Honey braided Aranea's hair.

"But what if he doesn't like me?"

"I'm sure he'll like you. He's really nice, and you seem his type."

"What if he's nothing like Barney?"

"From what you said, he's _exactly _like Barney."

"Really?"

"Yep! I'm sure you'll really like him. I promise."

"Thank you so much." Aranea hugged Honey.

"You're welcome."

_~The Haunted Hotel~_

Pizza Steve and Billy walked down the halls of each floor, looking, and calling out for Honey.

Finally, on the fourth floor…

"Honey?" Pizza Steve called out

"Yeah?" Honey walked out of their hotel room.

"Honey!" Pizza Steve ran up to her. "Ah thank goodness you're okay" he hugged her.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Oh you found her. Why am I not surprised?" asked Billy, crossing his arms.

"Oh, hey Billy. I have someone I want you to meet. Aranea, come on out."

Aranea floated out, looking down. She looked up at Billy, and with one look, she knew.

Billy stared at her the same way.

"I guess you two like each other?" Honey looked at them both.

Aranea flew at Billy, and smooched him. Billy blushed.

"Welp, that worked out fairly quickly." said Honey

"Yeah. Also, maybe next time, we _shouldn't _stay at a hotel. Just to be safe." said Pizza Steve "C'mon, let's check out."

"Agreed"


End file.
